Backlash: Behind the Scene Book Tour
The BDSM Strain
To start this off, may I say a humbled thanks to KathyMac Reviews for having us over today and hosting this tour! Kathy, your work with the book trailers is absolutely stunning!!
Thank you, Jack and may I say it is always a pleasure working with you, especially on the Don't series. I'm thrilled you're here today, so...the floor is all yours. ☺
Over 9 days, with 10 stops, we’re going behind the scene to Backlash, (Don’t…book 4), with loads of Backlash e-books to win along the way, as well as a paperback copy up for grabs! For a full list of tour dates and prizes, please see here at Forbidden Fiction Publications. http://forbiddenfiction.com/backlash-book-tour/
Today I’m here with the gorgeous Dilo Keith, BDSM Consultant for the Don’t… series. Although it’s the author’s name on the front cover, there’s so much that goes on behind the scenes, so much input from key players, that it’s great to take a step back, sit down, and turn the spotlight on those who help shape and shift these Don’t… series lads. And on that note….
*Turns the spotlight on Dilo*
Jack L: It’s really great to have you here, Dilo! You’ve been with me since the very first novel in the Don’t series and I’m floored constantly by your knowledge and experience. Can you tell everyone a little about yourself and your experience in the BDSM community?
Dilo: Thanks for having me again. I always enjoy our time together. I'll skip the non-BDSM parts other than to say that interestingly, many people guess I'm male, which I'll admit I like, assuming it's because of how I view sex.
I was active in starting a now-internationally-known BDSM organization in the mid-1980s. Prior to that I'd been a member of a lesbian group in New York City, a predominantly gay group in the DC area, and a pansexual group in NYC. All these groups, as well as other early ones, focused on education.
Of course we had our social aspects, but we were there to help people understand themselves and to teach safe BDSM. I had a great time doing all sorts of presentations. Caning was and still is a favorite.
Even in my vanilla days before that, I had an interest in sexuality-related education. I used to go around to college classes on what we called "Dyke Day", the time actual lesbian and gay people would visit to give a little talk and answer questions for psychology, sociology, and other classes. Several years ago, I tried my hand at writing fiction and found I had some talent. Through my characters, I try to share my D/s experiences without coming across as teaching or preaching.
Jack L: I remember the caning classes, and it’s helped with some of the scenes in Backlash. For those who don’t know, how did you get (kidnapped)… involved in working in the Don’t series?
Dilo: Despite what seems to be my reputation as a dominant, I'm primarily a sub, often a masochist. Sorting through the twisted output of the even more twisted mind of a not-all-that-vanilla writer... well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. Seriously, I don't remember exactly how we started, except that you probably contacted me (maybe on Goodreads) and I jumped at the opportunity. I think I had some sort of "would love to help" message in my profile on the various sites.
Jack L: Ohhh yes! I remember. I think it was through AW, and I’d seen a post of yours on BDSM. It kind of hit me then, a “oh hell, yes, let’s go ask”. Since then, what role do, and have you had, in helping to shape the Don’t BDSM world?
Dilo: I wouldn't say I do much shaping. More like making sure there aren't sharp things sticking out in the wrong place, loose threads, or other stray and awkward bits. While what I do varies with what's needed at the moment – whether it's something long and conceptual, or a short, technical matter, I usually focus on a few basic things:
Does the scene make sense to someone who can't read your mind? While that would be the case for any writer, it's especially true for you. You have all sorts of intriguing ideas swarming around in there and, to be honest, I don't always know what you're trying to do at first. Once I've navigated that territory, I need to check that what you're doing will ring true or at least make sense for someone who already knows about BDSM. Also, more for the non-BDSM readers, I make sure consent and safety are addressed—whether implicitly or explicitly. All the while, I try not to impose my style and or do anything to discourage your unique take on the subject.
Jack L: I think that’s the beauty behind what we do, you oversee but never overstep! Now, I make it clear how I’m vanilla at heart, probably more like Jan than I care to admit, how easy/hard is it working with an author who’s not exposed to the BDSM lifestyle?
Dilo: That's part of the attraction. Being different from you in that way (among others) makes me think more about my assumptions and perspectives. I'm so used to my view of things that I value a chance to see things from another angle. I'm sometimes surprised by which things you know and which I need to explain. I later realize it makes sense because the Internet provides a lot of information. I didn't use it to learn about BDSM – because it wasn't there at the time – and I forget that people can do that. I'm impressed by the way you know things you say you haven't experienced. You seem to have a deep, basic understanding of a lot of what happens in a power-exchange relationship.
Jack L: Thank you. BDSM has always been such an intense draw, it’s hard not to get caught up in the dynamics, even from the sidelines.
Backlash is from Gray’s point of view. As a Dom handling Jack, he can sometimes put his care plan of Jack’s disorders over SSC guidelines. How hard do you think it is for him to balance those two conflicting approaches when it comes to looking after Jack?
Dilo: SSC guidelines are set of principles, not a list, so I don't see it as something that can really be in conflict. Doing what's ultimately best for a person is simply that. Knowing and addressing your partner's needs matters more than any rules someone might try to impose, assuming their needs are compatible with being safe and sane.
Jack L: Excellent answer! Thank you. I get asked this so much, so I’m turning it over to you! Could you ever see Jan subbing for Gray!
Dilo: Yes! Okay, I was a bit quick to say that. My default response to such things is being open to change. Jan is smart and obviously drawn to the power dynamics. He could figure out how to incorporate that more into his life. They all have to deal with a bunch of stuff first, of course.
Jack L: Oh wow, now that’s given me multiple plots to work with!!!
After what happened to Jack and Jan in Antidote, do you think it’s possible for a sub to find a way back into the BDSM lifestyle afterwards?
Dilo: Yes, if they can separate assault and consensual sex. It's not about the particular acts, although as part of the healing process, it may be necessary to do less of some things and more of others. This is a huge topic I'm not well-qualified to discuss.
Jack L: Thank you for your honesty. Do you have a favourite character from the Don’t series?
Dilo: I tend not to have favourite anythings. I can usually find something to love about a lot of things. Maybe that's why I can be fully into both Dom and sub roles. If I have to pick one, I'd say Jan, probably because I'm more like him.
Jack L: So would you sign up to the Masters’ Circle if it were real! What would you be: Mercedes-Benz or Jag (Dom or sub), or a drive in both (switch)?
Dilo: As I mentioned earlier, I'm drawn to groups. The MC has more structure than I'm used to, but that goes well with my proclivities. And, if not obvious by my other answers, probably a switch.
Jack L: You’re a writer yourself. What are you working on now?
Dilo: I'm polishing a few of my short stories and chapters. Most of them are scenes from a novel I've had in the works for years. I'm also trying to find a publisher for some of the shorts. I recently signed on with JMS Books, but they want stories with at least some romance and much of what I write falls into the erotica category. With romance in mind, I've started the story of how my main characters met. The primary relationship is between two Doms and they had to work out how and when they'd switch with each other. Fortunately, they have a sub to share. My web site has details on the published stories about them.
Jack L: Dilo, thank you so much for joining me today and taking a little look at the BDSM in the Don’t series. As always it’s such a pleasure to sit and talk with you! Along with an e-book copy of Backlash to giveaway today, you’re also giving away a copy of your m/m novelette Make Mine to Go. Do you have a blurb available?
Dilo: I had a great time, thanks again for having me. Here's the official blurb. I'll add that this started out as my only vanilla story; the two characters just happen to be kinky because that's my world. I later added some BDSM sex, but it's not about the D/s relationship.
Blurb: One key to the success of Justin and Toby’s marriage is plenty of sexual variety, sometimes with other men they know through the local BDSM club. While Toby assumes the submissive role in their power exchanges, it’s more often Justin who generously caters to Toby’s erotic appetites. Toby’s interest in flirting with a salesman should be trivial in comparison to his other desires. Instead, it sends both men down uncomfortable paths.
Toby manages to assure Justin that it was harmless fun, or so it seems at first. More troubling than Justin being unconvinced is that Toby doesn’t entirely believe his own story. When Toby finally figures out he wants something only another man can give him, he knows it won’t be easy to tell Justin. Is realizing a fantasy—even an exceptionally
compelling one— worth the risk?
Thank you, Dilo! And also thanks again to KathyMac Reviews for having us today, Please leave a comment to be in with a chance for winning both works, and also stop by tomorrow at Books Laid Bare Boys, where I’ll be talking to HPStrangelove, another consultant of mine who lives and breathes my MI5 world for me.
There’s also still a chance to enter yesterday’s giveaway over at the Blogger Girls! Be sure to check out the author’s reader corner we visited over there, where a few m/m authors were kind enough to stop by and ask a few behind-the-scenes questions on Backlash.
**NOTE: To leave a comment, go back to the blog post here...
Jack L. Pyke Bio:
Jack L. Pyke blames her dark writing influences on living close to one of England’s finest forests. Having grown up hearing a history of kidnappings, murders, strange sightings, and sexual exploits her neck of the woods is renowned for, Jack takes that into her writing, having also learned that human coping strategies for intense situations can sometimes make the best of people have disastrously bad moments. Redeeming those flaws is Jack’s drive, and if that drive just happens to lead to sexual tension between two or more guys, Jack’s the first to let nature take its course.
Connect with Jack at:
Her website: http://www.jacklpyke.com/
Dilo Keith Bio:
I have always been fascinated with sex, especially kinky sex. My research, as I like to call it, started with some selective reading in the parental library. In college, where I decided I was gay, I served as a speaker for the campus LGBT outreach. I later conducted academic research on sexual fantasies and helped establish one of the USA’s most successful pansexual BDSM organizations. I check the “bisexual” box these days and will also answer to polymorphously perverse queer.
Writing erotic fiction is the most recent manifestation of my interest in sexuality. It felt great the first time, so I did it again, first alone, later with friends, and eventually in public in 2009. My stories reflect my personal experiences with the D/s lifestyle, and/or people in my life. I have a delightfully kinky and entertaining part-time submissive who, so far, appears in my stories only by way of his editing skills. When not writing, I enjoy photography and almost anything that involves using a computer.
“Dilo” is an acronym based on the nonfiction BDSM book, Different Loving.
My web site has an assortment of BDSM resources and other links of interest to erotica writers, along with blog posts written by my talented submissive. I’d love to hear from readers and writers; I’m especially interested in finding some beta readers, but I welcome any comments or questions. Use the messaging options at my various web locations.
Connect with Dilo at:
Her blog: https://dilokeith.wordpress.com/blog-2/